Take the moment – This Time for You

I shared before how much I realized taking the moment to make memories, with our mothers and our children, is – even when it isn’t ‘perfect’ and you have to work on vacation, even when it’s bumpy and a little stressful. That the moments mean EVERYTHING.

Last week, I found it even harder to take the moment – because this time it was time for myself.

I always take a week away each year, alone, to relax and also slow down and reconnect with myself. No kid, no one needing snacks, Wi-Fi, a charging cord…This year it seemed tough. My original location reinstated tourist visas which I didn’t have to time to acquire so I almost just cancelled, but instead I changed my location to Colombia, pushed it back one week, and asked for help from a travel agent to find my lodging (which I usually love to do on my own – but it was ask for help or don’t go…so I asked for help.)

Pushing my trip back a week meant I wouldn’t be here on the first day of school. My son is going into seventh grade and it would be the first time ever I wasn’t there on the first day of school. Even years later when he is at his dad’s house on the first day of school I meet them at the school that morning. I almost cancelled because HOW could I not be there for my son’s first day of school. Instead I asked my son how he felt instead of presuming I knew. (His response “It’s just seventh grade mom. It’s the same school I already know where everything is.) Ok, then.

I hurt a friend’s feelings. They asked to join me on my trip at the last minute and I told them I’d love to plan a trip with them, but this one was for me – alone – to reconnect with myself. I knew what I needed and was honest about it.

I felt really overwhelmed. I’d been in an out of town with my son for a few weeks so the thought of another trip, juggling work commitments, felt more exhausting than fun. I did it anyway.

And I went.

And it was amazing.

A friend asked me, don’t you get lonely when you travel alone. And honestly, sure, there are moments I feel lonely. Or moments I reflect on how the hell did I get here? An almost 50-year old, single mom, traveling alone? That wasn’t my life plan. Then I look around, and so many people I see look distracted, bored, annoyed with the person they are with…

I’ll take “Laney, party of one” any day.

Because the moment isn’t just to decompress, to relax, to travel…it’s to feel those moments of loneliness, to have those reflections on how I got here…and realize that HERE is phenomenal, just not what I planned.

And it’s only when you have the experience, and let yourself feel a little lonely, a little sad, that you can know that that’s ok. Because who I’m really lonely for is myself…an it’s easy to lose her in the day to day blur of school, soccer, work, etc.

And it’s a passing moment, and HERE is still phenomenal.

And when you are ok with that, and with not being there for the first day of school (and learning your kid didn’t need you there anyways), and you juggle the work commitments, and you replan your entire trip in a week and let someone help you, then you get:

- Moments on a private beach listening to birds as they soar overhead
- An impromptu salsa lesson in an authentic salsa club by a local (who said I’m pretty good but I need to keep my hands soft so I can feel where he’s telling me to go – maybe I need to do that with God and life as well…)
- To lay in a lounge on the beach with nothing to do but enjoy a bottle of wine and read a great book
- To learn how to cook dishes local to Cartagena
- You get to have a glass of wine on a rooftop bar, feeling the breeze and watching the sun go down

And connect with yourself again. Because you took the moment.

"WE ARE OUR ANCESTORS WILDEST DREAM"